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Showing posts from July, 2019

At this point, it's not so much fear of failure....

...it's knowing how much work it will take to be a success.  At one point on our journey towards a BFA, we all had to take a class about the business side of art. Business skills...something that way too many artists, myself included, are sadly lacking. I don't remember much of that class. I still have a folder full of notes somewhere. Handouts and the like. Websites.... But the teacher said one thing that stuck. "Redefine success," he said, "to include what you're doing." And I took this to heart.  For me, my favorite part of art is doing it. That's where I get the most enjoyment out of it. The last thing I'm thinking about is 'How am I going to sell this?". Because every time I thought about how to sell it, whatever I was making was no longer enjoyable to make. I mean, don't get me wrong; I'm happy to sell any of my pieces, my photos, my writing if anyone wants to buy it, but I can't go out there and push it,

Dear Dementia

Dear Dementia, I thought I had a great idea for a blog called "Dear Dementia" where I would ramble about my fears surrounding it. Have no idea if I even have dementia, or early Alzheimer's or anything like that, but I have been struggling lately with keeping focused. Struggling with holding onto the idea that my life has some purpose, some reason other than Grace to continue. Because truly, when I am not with Grace, my life feels empty, without purpose. I have all this stuff and a job and a cat, but I am sinking deeper into debt every day and I honestly don't know how to turn that around. I have all this talent... But I laugh at that word. Talent. Potential. A Gift!  Yes, it's true. I know this to be true. I know that I have the capability to produce beautiful unique things in the world. I have done so in the past. Yet at the moment I feel paralyzed.  Suffocated by the weight of all the stuff I have. Stuff for making art that I am not using, but cannot let